Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the facebook-pagelike-widget domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wp-2fa domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 {"id":9251,"date":"2020-06-08T06:54:00","date_gmt":"2020-06-08T04:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/?p=9251"},"modified":"2020-06-07T21:30:44","modified_gmt":"2020-06-07T19:30:44","slug":"parterapi-rekommenderas-starkt-till-alla-foraldrar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/parterapi-rekommenderas-starkt-till-alla-foraldrar\/","title":{"rendered":"Parterapi \u2013 rekommenderas starkt till alla f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

En intensiv v\u00e5r<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Det har varit ganska mycket terapi<\/a> den h\u00e4r v\u00e5ren. Det har inte varit s\u00e5 himla kul alla g\u00e5nger \u2013 eller alls, faktiskt \u2013 men det var min egen terapeut som, n\u00e4r jag satt och gr\u00e4vde i mina k\u00e4nslor och beteenden och f\u00f6r sjuttioelfte g\u00e5ngen kopplade ihop dem med Bj\u00f6rn, stillsamt lade upp fr\u00e5gan om parterapi p\u00e5 bordet:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Det l\u00e5ter som att det finns en del saker ni skulle beh\u00f6va prata om tillsammans,” sa den kloka kvinnan. Jag \u00e5kte hem \u2013 ty detta var p\u00e5 den tiden d\u00e5 man fortfarande tr\u00e4ffade m\u00e4nniskor IRL \u2013 och testade id\u00e9n p\u00e5 Bj\u00f6rn. Han ryckte lite p\u00e5 axlarna och sa att javisst, om du tror att vi beh\u00f6ver det s\u00e5 absolut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parterapi it is<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Jag funderade i n\u00e5gra veckor. Sen slog corona till och v\u00e4nde upp och ner p\u00e5 det mesta, och i och med att jag blev permitterad<\/a> p\u00e5 40% \u2013 dvs jag jobbade pl\u00f6tsligt bara 60% \u2013 s\u00e5 blev det massa tid \u00f6ver h\u00e4r hemma. Eller, en del tid \u00f6ver, i alla fall. Att jobba hemifr\u00e5n ger ju m\u00f6jligheten att disponera tiden lite friare \u00e4n n\u00e4r man sitter p\u00e5 jobbet, om inte annat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I samma veva b\u00f6rjade jag och Bj\u00f6rn i parterapi. Jag hade inte trott att det skulle g\u00e5 s\u00e5 fort och l\u00e4tt att hitta n\u00e5n att jobba med, men en v\u00e4ninna och hennes man gick redan hos en terapeut som hon var s\u00e5 himla n\u00f6jd med. Eftersom det inte var KBT (beteendeterapi) det var fr\u00e5gan om, utan ”emotionellt fokuserad terapi”, s\u00e5 k\u00e4nde jag att det kanske vore n\u00e5t f\u00f6r oss. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bj\u00f6rn deltog inte s\u00e5 mycket i grejen med parterapi initialt. Han s\u00e5g det som n\u00e5got vi gjorde f\u00f6r min skull, allts\u00e5 som en forts\u00e4ttning p\u00e5 min egen terapi, men det tog 30 minuter p\u00e5 f\u00f6rsta samtalet f\u00f6r terapeuten att s\u00e4tta fingret p\u00e5 vad som knyter sig hos mig. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u00e5rarna rann n\u00e4r jag lade upp hela min egenh\u00e4ndigt skr\u00e4ddarsydda mental load<\/a><\/em> p\u00e5 bordet, till min egen n\u00e5got milda f\u00f6rv\u00e5ning dessutom. Bj\u00f6rn lyssnade. Terapeuten gr\u00e4vde runt lite till i det. Det k\u00e4ndes som att Bj\u00f6rn stannade upp, h\u00f6jde blicken fr\u00e5n sin v\u00e4lbekanta v\u00e4g och s\u00e5g mig. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag \u00e4r ensam <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

P\u00e5 den v\u00e4gen \u00e4r vi fortfarande och vet du, jag \u00e4r \u00f6vertygad om att jag och min v\u00e4ninna \u00e4r l\u00e5ngt ifr\u00e5n ovanliga i v\u00e5r ensamhet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r lite roligt att vi tr\u00e4ffar samma terapeut, hon och jag. I och med att v\u00e5ra sessioner d\u00e4rmed p\u00e5minner lite om varandra \u2013 samma person, samma metodik, du f\u00f6rst\u00e5r \u2013 s\u00e5 slipper vi f\u00f6rklaringsdelen av v\u00e5ra samtal med varandra och kan g\u00e5 direkt p\u00e5 de djupa prylarna. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det visade sig att vi som kvinnor har mycket gemensamt i v\u00e5ra f\u00f6rh\u00e5llanden. Under alla lager av vardagsfrustration, sm\u00e5k\u00e4bbel och missf\u00f6rst\u00e5nd, bakom alla s\u00e5rade k\u00e4nslor och provocerade r\u00e4dslor, lurar ensamheten. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r en speciell sorts ensamhet. Om du tar ”ensamhet”, och skalar bort biroller som ”o\u00e4lskad”, ”o\u00f6nskad”, ”belastning” med flera, s\u00e5 blir det kvar n\u00e5gon sorts konstaterande av fr\u00e5nvaro. Jag \u00e4r ensam. H\u00e4r finns bara jag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r l\u00e4tt att ta med sig det d\u00e4r in i allt vi g\u00f6r, och det har vi gemensamt i v\u00e5r ensamhet, jag och min v\u00e4ninna. \u00c4r det v\u00e5ra m\u00e4ns fel? Absolut inte. Det \u00e4r inte ens s\u00e4kert att det finns n\u00e5gon att klandra. The mental load<\/a> f\u00f6ljer oss genom vardagbestyren, och vi t\u00e4nker inte s\u00e5 mycket p\u00e5 den \u2013 f\u00f6rr\u00e4n nu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag & Bj\u00f6rn & ”Vi”<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Jag och Bj\u00f6rn har det bra. Vi har haft v\u00e5ra k\u00e4mpiga perioder \u2013 sm\u00e5barnsliv kan som bekant vara en oerh\u00f6rd p\u00e5frestning f\u00f6r parrelationen \u2013 men relationen har alltid varit stark. Den \u00e4r fortfarande stark, men … du vet, vi vill att den ska forts\u00e4tta vara stark. Alltid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi har v\u00e5ra beteendem\u00f6nster som vi lagt oss till med. Vi har byggt dem p\u00e5 erfarenhet, r\u00e4dsla och ett g\u00e4ng till synes harml\u00f6sa missf\u00f6rst\u00e5nd. Med \u00e5ren breder m\u00f6nstret ut sig som sockerkakssmet i en ugnsform, och till slut sitter vi med fnurror p\u00e5 tr\u00e5den som vi inte borde ha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alla f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar borde g\u00e5 i parterapi<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Jag tror att parterapi \u00e4r mycket b\u00e4ttre att ta tag i innan det barkar fullst\u00e4ndigt \u00e5t skogen. Min v\u00e4ninna och hennes man b\u00f6rjade g\u00e5 p\u00e5 det f\u00f6r att f\u00f6rdjupa sin relation, komma varandra n\u00e4rmare. Jag och Bj\u00f6rn b\u00f6rjade f\u00f6r att jag k\u00e4nde mig lite ensam ibland. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Efter v\u00e5ra terapisamtal k\u00e4nner jag ofta som ett omt\u00f6cknat lugn i b\u00e5de kropp och hj\u00e4rta. Vi finner ny f\u00f6rst\u00e5else f\u00f6r varandra och bygger nya broar som st\u00e5r stadigare \u00e4n de gamla.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parterapi borde snarare ses som en spabehandling f\u00f6r sj\u00e4lva parrelationen. F\u00f6r individerna som deltar k\u00e4nns det inte riktigt som spa, d\u00e4remot. Det k\u00e4nns mer s\u00e5h\u00e4r:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"parterapi<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u00c4r det ok att prata om parterapi?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r inte l\u00e4tt att vara f\u00f6r\u00e4lder. Det \u00e4r inte l\u00e4tt att vara en bra partner. Det \u00e4r sannerligen inte l\u00e4tt att vara b\u00e5da tv\u00e5 p\u00e5 samma g\u00e5ng. Det \u00e4r samma f\u00f6r alla, och det \u00e4r v\u00e4l fantastiskt att det g\u00e5r att f\u00e5 lite hj\u00e4lp p\u00e5 v\u00e4gen f\u00f6r oss som k\u00e4nner oss extra vilsna ibland. Eller vad tycker du \u2013 \u00e4r parterapi tabu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c4r det ett tecken p\u00e5 att slutet \u00e4r n\u00e4ra, att familjelyckan lyser med sin fr\u00e5nvaro och att man blivit desperat \u2013 eller kan det f\u00e5 vara precis vad det \u00e4r; en investering i underh\u00e5ll och service under perioder av h\u00f6g belastning?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

?<\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

En intensiv v\u00e5r Det har varit ganska mycket terapi den h\u00e4r v\u00e5ren. Det har inte varit s\u00e5 himla kul alla g\u00e5nger \u2013 eller alls, faktiskt \u2013 men det var min egen terapeut som, n\u00e4r jag satt och gr\u00e4vde i mina k\u00e4nslor och beteenden och f\u00f6r sjuttioelfte g\u00e5ngen kopplade ihop dem med Bj\u00f6rn, stillsamt lade upp […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2597,7],"tags":[2873,2997,1468,2996,1765,1769,2940,2501],"class_list":["post-9251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cornerstones","category-tips-tricks","tag-bjorn-jag","tag-foraldratips","tag-parrelation","tag-parterapi","tag-smabarnsforaldrar","tag-smabarnsliv","tag-terapi","tag-tips"],"yoast_head":"\nParterapi \u2013 rekommenderas starkt till alla f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Alla f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar borde g\u00e5 i parterapi. 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