Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the facebook-pagelike-widget domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wp-2fa domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 {"id":9060,"date":"2020-04-15T06:38:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-15T04:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/?p=9060"},"modified":"2020-04-13T21:50:44","modified_gmt":"2020-04-13T19:50:44","slug":"vad-hander-nar-mamma-forsvinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/vad-hander-nar-mamma-forsvinner\/","title":{"rendered":"Vad h\u00e4nder n\u00e4r Mamma f\u00f6rsvinner?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Varning f\u00f6r k\u00e4nslig text.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi har alla m\u00e4nniskor omkring oss som vi inte kan f\u00f6rest\u00e4lla oss att vara utan. Vissa personer mer \u00e4n andra. Det skiljer kanske inte det minsta i n\u00e4rhet eller k\u00e4rlek, men det kan skilja i beroende. <\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Mamma blev sjuk<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Min mamma h\u00f6r definitivt till coronas riskgrupper p\u00e5 grund av astma, k\u00e4nsliga luftr\u00f6r och en historik av fascinerande d\u00e5ligt immunf\u00f6rsvar under sitt sista \u00e5r p\u00e5 jobbet d\u00e4r de hade s\u00e5 mycket m\u00f6gel att folk fick utslag i ansiktet. Och s\u00e5 \u00e4r hon \u00f6ver 60 \u00e5r. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hon drog f\u00f6rst\u00e5s p\u00e5 sig corona till slut, sannolikt p\u00e5 tunnelbanan men det g\u00e5r f\u00f6rst\u00e5s inte att veta. Hon har inte coronatestat, men det vore m\u00e4rkligt om det var n\u00e5got annat s\u00e4ger v\u00e5r husl\u00e4kare. Lunginflammationen kom som ett brev p\u00e5 posten och under n\u00e5gra dagar var det riktigt illa, s\u00e5d\u00e4r p\u00e5 gr\u00e4nsen till att \u00e5ka in till akuten-illa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu \u00e4r det mycket b\u00e4ttre, vi f\u00e5r bara hoppas p\u00e5 att det inte blir n\u00e5got \u00e5terfall. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hursomhelst. Under de h\u00e4r dagarna har jag varit utom mig av oro. Kroppen reagerade med magont, f\u00f6rlorad matlust och stressryckningar i \u00f6gat igen \u2013 favorit i repris fr\u00e5n i h\u00f6stas<\/a>. Och jag t\u00e4nker s\u00e5h\u00e4r: \u00e4r det m\u00f6jligt att jag byggt mig sj\u00e4lv p\u00e5 min mor i s\u00e5 h\u00f6g grad att jag har en identitetskris att v\u00e4nta den dagen jag f\u00f6rlorar henne? F\u00f6r den dagen kommer naturligtvis f\u00f6rr eller senare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag hade s\u00e4kert reagerat likadant om det hade varit min pappa eller min bror, men n\u00e5gonstans s\u00e5 v\u00e4cktes \u00e4nd\u00e5 funderingen \u00f6ver hur h\u00e5rt pr\u00e4glad jag egentligen \u00e4r p\u00e5 just Mamma. Som kvinna, som mor sj\u00e4lv, som partner. Hur mycket av det som \u00e4r ”jag” har jag byggt med henne som mall … Vad h\u00e4nder, n\u00e4r mamma f\u00f6rsvinner?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Men du beh\u00f6ver inte oroa dig Lisa,” sa mamma n\u00e4r hon ins\u00e5g att jag oroat mig s\u00e5 pass mycket, men … det s\u00e4ger hon alltid<\/em>. Oavsett. Om hon s\u00e5 tappat k\u00e4nseln i halva kroppen, inte kan g\u00e5 och h\u00e5ret fattat eld, s\u00e5 ska jag inte oroa mig s\u00e5 mycket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Farmor<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e4r jag var liten, jag var kanske 10-12 \u00e5r, s\u00e5 fick vi i uppgift i skolan att intervjua en familjemedlem. Vi hade f\u00e5tt en lista med fr\u00e5gor, s\u00e5 jag ringde till farmor. Jag minns EN av fr\u00e5gorna:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Vilken var den sorgligaste dagen i ditt liv?” l\u00e4ste jag innantill och k\u00e4nde, s\u00e5 fort jag sagt det, hur vattnet djupnade omkring mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Jaa …” sa farmor, ”det var n\u00e4r mina f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar dog.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag och min farmor hade en n\u00e4ra relation, men generationsklyftan mellan hennes och min var oerh\u00f6rt vid. Jag minns henne inte som en \u00e4ngslig eller k\u00e4nslostyrd sj\u00e4l \u2013 till skillnad fr\u00e5n mig d\u00e5 \u2013 men trots hennes striktare l\u00e4ggning s\u00e5 var ett av hennes sista ord \u00e4nd\u00e5 ett oroligt ”Mamma.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"dotter,
Farmors portr\u00e4tt, 2010<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Mamma<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r sv\u00e5rt att f\u00f6rbereda sig p\u00e5 en f\u00f6rlust, jag undrar om det ens g\u00e5r. K\u00e4nslom\u00e4ssigt, allts\u00e5. Det gick ju inte att f\u00f6rbereda sig p\u00e5 att bli f\u00f6r\u00e4lder heller, k\u00e4nslom\u00e4ssigt \u2013 och d\u00e5 var det en positiv h\u00e4ndelse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag funderar p\u00e5 om det g\u00f6r n\u00e5gon skillnad om jag kan s\u00e4ga att min mamma ”har levt ett l\u00e5ngt och lyckligt liv och blev \u00f6ver 90 \u00e5r” eller om det \u00e4r som nu, min mamma ”har precis b\u00f6rjat sitt liv som pension\u00e4r och skaffat hundvalp”. Kommer jag n\u00e5gonsin, genom den oundvikliga sorgen, kunna k\u00e4nna att det \u00e4nd\u00e5 blev bra \u2013 f\u00f6r henne, om inte annat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det h\u00e4r kommer jag f\u00f6rst\u00e5s aldrig att f\u00e5 veta. Och hur det \u00e4n blir n\u00e4r mamma f\u00f6rsvinner s\u00e5 tj\u00e4nar det kanske ingenting till att fundera p\u00e5 det nu, men det ligger i min natur att g\u00f6ra det \u00e4nd\u00e5 f\u00f6r den sorgen m\u00e5ste komma en dag. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ju senare desto b\u00e4ttre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"n\u00e4r
Mammas tavla, 2005.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Varning f\u00f6r k\u00e4nslig text. Vi har alla m\u00e4nniskor omkring oss som vi inte kan f\u00f6rest\u00e4lla oss att vara utan. Vissa personer mer \u00e4n andra. Det skiljer kanske inte det minsta i n\u00e4rhet eller k\u00e4rlek, men det kan skilja i beroende. Mamma blev sjuk Min mamma h\u00f6r definitivt till coronas riskgrupper p\u00e5 grund av astma, k\u00e4nsliga […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2597],"tags":[2961,1193,1312,1431,1432,1700,2187,1735,1824],"class_list":["post-9060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cornerstones","tag-corona","tag-mamma","tag-mormor","tag-oro","tag-orolig","tag-sjuk","tag-sjukdomar","tag-skrack","tag-sorg"],"yoast_head":"\nVad h\u00e4nder n\u00e4r Mamma f\u00f6rsvinner? -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Om hon s\u00e5 tappat k\u00e4nseln i halva kroppen, inte kan g\u00e5 och h\u00e5ret fattat eld, s\u00e5 ska jag inte oroa mig s\u00e5 mycket. 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