Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the facebook-pagelike-widget domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wp-2fa domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 {"id":8894,"date":"2020-01-15T07:02:04","date_gmt":"2020-01-15T06:02:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/?p=8894"},"modified":"2020-01-14T15:11:35","modified_gmt":"2020-01-14T14:11:35","slug":"relationen-som-tar-stryk-under-de-tuffa-smabarnsaren","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/relationen-som-tar-stryk-under-de-tuffa-smabarnsaren\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationen som tar stryk under de tuffa sm\u00e5barns\u00e5ren"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Vi var p\u00e5 dejt i s\u00f6ndags (!!!)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Som sm\u00e5barnsf\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar \u2013 n\u00e5got jag f\u00f6r \u00f6vrigt undrar hur l\u00e4nge till vi kan kalla oss; de \u00e4r trots allt 3 och 4,5 \u00e5r nu \u2013 \u00e4r det h\u00e4r med tid tillsammans UTAN BARNEN lite som vattenh\u00e5l i \u00f6knen f\u00f6r parrelationen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I s\u00f6ndags hade vi lyckats f\u00e5 till det med barnvakt med b\u00e5de min mamma och bror \u2013 alltid b\u00e4st att boka b\u00e5da, ifall en blir sjuk, man vet aldrig \u2013 s\u00e5 jag och Bj\u00f6rn knallade hemifr\u00e5n 15:30 f\u00f6r att \u00e5ka in till stan. Det \u00e4r inte s\u00e5 viktigt vad vi g\u00f6r med tiden, egentligen, s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge vi f\u00e5r vara ifred. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vardagen under de tuffa sm\u00e5barns\u00e5ren<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hemma hos oss \u00e4r det s\u00e5 att ljudvolymen, energiniv\u00e5n och aktiviteten \u00e4r st\u00e4ndigt uppskruvad. Det \u00e4r klart att ingenting \u00e4r helt konstant och det finns lugna stunder, men det sv\u00e4nger och v\u00e4xlar s\u00e5 pass fort att det ibland k\u00e4nns konstant. Pojkarna springer n\u00e4r de f\u00f6rflyttar sig, ropar och skriker n\u00e4r de pratar, leker yvigt och h\u00e5rdh\u00e4nt och, huvudregeln; de \u00e4r aldrig stilla. Varannan sak vi som f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar hojtar vid matbordet \u00e4r ”SITT NER p\u00e5 stolen! Nej, p\u00e5 RUMPAN!” och ”Torka av h\u00e4nderna om du ska hoppa ner!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tiden att samla sina tankar och framf\u00f6ra dem till sin partner finns fortfarande inte. Vi hinner numera ost\u00f6rt (haha, ”ost\u00f6rt”) avhandla korta fr\u00e5gor som r\u00f6r hanteringen av vardagen, men varje f\u00f6rs\u00f6k till l\u00e4ngre utl\u00e4ggning slutar fortfarande i en intensiv diskussion med en liten pojke om vad ”avbryta” \u00e4r, att alla har r\u00e4tt att ber\u00e4tta saker ochnupraTARJAG!! Och att nu f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker jag ber\u00e4tta n\u00e5gonting f\u00f6r pappa och du m\u00e5ste v\u00e4nta p\u00e5 din tur. V\u00e4nta, sa jag. Kom ih\u00e5g vad du vill s\u00e4ga och s\u00e5 s\u00e4ger du det n\u00e4r det blir din tur, hm?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00e5 kv\u00e4llarna d\u00e5? Nix, inte det heller. P\u00e5 kv\u00e4llarna sitter en av oss i soffan i allrummet uppe, som moraliskt st\u00f6d i ”m\u00f6rkret” \u2013 allts\u00e5 det \u00e4r inte m\u00f6rkt alls men Simon har f\u00e5tt f\u00f6r sig det \u2013 och p\u00e5 vakt mot b\u00e5de monster och sm\u00e5 pojkar som inte vill acceptera att dagen \u00e4r slut och som beh\u00f6ver hj\u00e4lp att hitta tillbaka till sina s\u00e4ngar. N\u00e4r b\u00e5da med s\u00e4kerhet somnat, \u00e4r vi s\u00e5 tr\u00f6tta att givande samtal \u00e4r sv\u00e5ra att ha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det h\u00e4r \u00e4r anledningen till att vissa saker missas, f\u00f6r \u00f6vrigt. Jag visste till exempel inte att Bj\u00f6rn g\u00e5tt ner i arbetstid fr\u00e5n 90% till 80% fr\u00e5n och med nu i januari. (Jag blev f\u00f6r \u00f6vrigt lite uppr\u00f6rd \u00f6ver det; det \u00e4r f\u00f6rvisso en bra sak men det k\u00e4nns som n\u00e5t man upplyser sin livskamrat om. Vad h\u00e4nde med kommunikationen som vi gemensamt fastslagit som brutalt viktig, liksom? Nu trodde han visserligen att han hade sagt det \u2013 antagligen f\u00f6r att han f\u00f6rs\u00f6kt men blivit avbruten.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lugna s\u00f6ndagsreflektioner<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Tiden att samla sina tankar och framf\u00f6ra dem till sin partner finns, som sagt, fortfarande inte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Men det k\u00e4nns som att vi b\u00f6rjar<\/em> komma ur den h\u00e4r j\u00e4ttel\u00e5nga perioden d\u00e4r vi inte kan g\u00f6ra s\u00e5 mycket med dem,” sa Bj\u00f6rn p\u00e5 den h\u00e4r dejten i s\u00f6ndags som jag egentligen satte mig h\u00e4r f\u00f6r att ber\u00e4tta om. ”Nu fuskade vi i och f\u00f6r sig lite med sk\u00e4rmen n\u00e4r vi var p\u00e5 restaurangen ig\u00e5r*, men det k\u00e4ndes \u00e4nd\u00e5 lugnare \u00e4n det gjorde sist vi var d\u00e4r till exempel.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det har han f\u00f6rhoppningsvis r\u00e4tt i. Det h\u00e4r med att t\u00e4nka medan man pratar, och d\u00e4rmed ha spontana diskussioner, ligger \u00e4nnu l\u00e5ngt borta. Vi har b\u00f6rjat kunna ”ber\u00e4tta saker” f\u00f6r varandra n\u00e4r pojkarna \u00e4r med, och det g\u00e4ller att ha koll p\u00e5 vad man vill f\u00e5 sagt innan man \u00f6ppnar munnen, men nu h\u00f6r vi varandra i alla fall s\u00e5 pass att det blir som att skicka muntliga mail till varandra. Kanske \u00e4r de tuffa sm\u00e5barns\u00e5ren snart bakom oss (ta i tr\u00e4)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"relationen<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Relationen som tar stryk under de tuffa sm\u00e5barns\u00e5ren<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e4r jag genomf\u00f6rde min l\u00e4sarunders\u00f6kning<\/a> i … n\u00e4r det nu var, april?, s\u00e5 var en av de frivilliga fr\u00e5gorna d\u00e4r om det fanns n\u00e5nting som man vill l\u00e4sa lite mer om. Ett av svaren l\u00f6d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vore intressant att l\u00e4sa mer om hur du och Bj\u00f6rn f\u00e5r er relation att fungera s\u00e5 bra som m\u00f6jligt under de tuffa sm\u00e5barns\u00e5ren. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag gissar att det som intresserar dig\/oss\/alla \u00e4r s\u00e5dant som skulle kunna g\u00e5 att \u00f6vers\u00e4tta till andra relationer. Typ eran. S\u00e5nt vill jag ocks\u00e5 l\u00e4sa, f\u00f6r \u00f6vrigt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway … jag har tyv\u00e4rr inga tips utom en enda klyscha som vi sj\u00e4lva k\u00e4mpar med att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka f\u00f6lja:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prata med varandra!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Se till att s\u00e4tta ord p\u00e5 fr\u00e4sandet er emellan, helst senare n\u00e4r barnen slipper lyssna och n\u00e4r k\u00e4nslostormen bedarrat n\u00e5got. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Av oss tv\u00e5 s\u00e5 \u00e4r jag den kommunikativa individen \u2013 ett faktum som jag ibland blir helt vansinnig p\u00e5, eftersom jag inte s\u00e4llan \u00e4r lite uppr\u00f6rd n\u00e4r jag blir p\u00e5mind om det \u2013 vilket inneb\u00e4r att det oftast \u00e4r jag som \u00f6ppnar m\u00f6tet: ”Jag TROR att det som h\u00e4nde var att … och att du tyckte … och d\u00e5 k\u00e4nde jag … bla bla bla och s\u00e5 vidare.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Han lyssnar alltid, svarar alltid, och ibland blir det diskussion eftersom jag haft helt fel. Men i slut\u00e4ndan handlar det inte alls om vem som har r\u00e4tt eller fel, utan om att bli f\u00f6rst\u00e5dd. Kan du f\u00f6rst\u00e5 varf\u00f6r jag blev provocerad? Kan du f\u00f6rklara vad tusan det var som h\u00e4nde? Om jag inte f\u00f6rst\u00e5r vad som gick snett, eller hur det gick till, d\u00e5 kommer det h\u00e4nda igen och igen och ingen VILL ju br\u00e5ka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tips fr\u00e5n hj\u00e4rtat:
<\/strong>Se till att ni f\u00e5r vara ensamma med varandra n\u00e4r ni b\u00e5da \u00e4r pigga nog, oftare \u00e4n en g\u00e5ng i halv\u00e5ret. G\u00e5 inte p\u00e5 bio\/f\u00f6rest\u00e4llningar\/konserter\/annan aktivitet d\u00e4r man slipper konversera med varandra, utan tvinga er sj\u00e4lva att umg\u00e5s. Inga telefoner. Inga polare. No nothing<\/em>. Bara ni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\u00e4r<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n

*Vi hade ingen mat hemma i l\u00f6rdags kv\u00e4ll s\u00e5 vi \u00e5kte buss med pojkarna till centrum och gick p\u00e5 en familjerestaurang d\u00e4r. Sist vi var d\u00e4r, f\u00f6rra \u00e5ret, var det ganska st\u00f6kigt och problematiskt att f\u00e5 \u00e4ta klart sin mat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vi var p\u00e5 dejt i s\u00f6ndags (!!!) Som sm\u00e5barnsf\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar \u2013 n\u00e5got jag f\u00f6r \u00f6vrigt undrar hur l\u00e4nge till vi kan kalla oss; de \u00e4r trots allt 3 och 4,5 \u00e5r nu \u2013 \u00e4r det h\u00e4r med tid tillsammans UTAN BARNEN lite som vattenh\u00e5l i \u00f6knen f\u00f6r parrelationen. I s\u00f6ndags hade vi lyckats f\u00e5 till det […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2597,9],"tags":[2519,1468,2886,1591,2593,1764,1769,2803,2246],"class_list":["post-8894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cornerstones","category-vardagstrams","tag-foraldradejt","tag-parrelation","tag-reflektioner","tag-relationskommunikation","tag-smabarnsaren","tag-smabarnsforalder","tag-smabarnsliv","tag-ta-i-tra","tag-uppfostran"],"yoast_head":"\nRelationen som tar stryk under de tuffa 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