Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the facebook-pagelike-widget domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wp-2fa domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 {"id":7381,"date":"2018-12-23T07:30:56","date_gmt":"2018-12-23T06:30:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/?p=7381"},"modified":"2018-12-21T11:47:54","modified_gmt":"2018-12-21T10:47:54","slug":"himlen-i-min-famn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/himlen-i-min-famn\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c4r det sj\u00e4lva himlen som jag gungar i min famn?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Bebistiden kommer alltid glittra av v\u00e4rme och k\u00e4rlek i mitt minne. Jag antar att det \u00e4r vad tiden g\u00f6r med oss; den suddar de h\u00e5rda m\u00e4rkena efter s\u00f6mnl\u00f6sa n\u00e4tter, orolig vaka och uth\u00e4rdande av otr\u00f6stliga skrik designade att krossa en moders hj\u00e4rta, tills vi bara anar skuggorna efter dem. Minnesluckorna fylls ut av de fina stunderna, och d\u00e4rf\u00f6r kan vi l\u00e4ngta efter fler barn*.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"himlen<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Vackraste minnena<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Mina minnesluckor fylls av tv\u00e5 minnen \u2013 ett f\u00f6r Simon, och ett f\u00f6r Adrian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vid Simons minne h\u00e4nger chocken av att blir f\u00f6r\u00e4lder. Jag sitter i soffan med min nyf\u00f6dde son vid br\u00f6stet, och tittar p\u00e5 honom. Det finns bara han och jag, ingenting annat \u00e4r viktigt. Jag f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker anpassa mig till att centrum f\u00f6r mitt liv flyttats utanf\u00f6r mig.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vid Adrians minne h\u00e4nger l\u00e4ttnaden \u00f6ver hans f\u00f6rm\u00e5ga att sj\u00e4lv ta det han beh\u00f6ver fr\u00e5n mig. Jag hade inte lika mycket tid med honom under dagarna, men han accepterade det och tog igen det under n\u00e4tterna d\u00e5 han v\u00e4grade sova n\u00e5gon annanstans \u00e4n mage mot mage med mig. Hur m\u00e5nga kv\u00e4llar lade vi oss inte till r\u00e4tta, t\u00e4tt intill varandra i min s\u00e4ng, och tankade n\u00e4rhet? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag ligger i det svaga m\u00e5nljuset och tittar p\u00e5 honom, k\u00e4nner hans lilla kropp mot min, och undrar om jag inte kan f\u00e5 stanna tiden nu. H\u00e4r \u00e4r meningen med mitt liv.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r tungt nog att bli religi\u00f6s f\u00f6r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r f\u00f6rvisso vackert med tro, men jag \u00e4r inte troende s\u00e5 f\u00f6r mig \u00e4r juletiden s\u00e5 som vi k\u00e4nner den baserad p\u00e5 en saga. Det som \u00e4r bra med sagor, bland annat, \u00e4r att de har n\u00e5gon form av sensmoral och julen \u00e4r full av dem.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bortom tro och sagor<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r sv\u00e5rt att beskriva musik, sv\u00e5rt att s\u00e4tta ord p\u00e5 vad den g\u00f6r med en. Det \u00e4r d\u00e4rf\u00f6r som musik finns; f\u00f6r att vi inte kan s\u00e4tta ord p\u00e5 allt. F\u00f6r vissa saker r\u00e4cker orden inte till. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allt jag kan s\u00e4ga \u00e4r att jag f\u00f6rst\u00e5r Maria, n\u00e4r hon ser in i sin nyf\u00f6dde sons \u00f6gon d\u00e4r mitt i m\u00f6rka natten och undrar, om det \u00e4r sj\u00e4lva himlen hon f\u00e5tt i sina armar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n