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{"id":4324,"date":"2017-02-15T20:40:00","date_gmt":"2017-02-15T19:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/?p=4324"},"modified":"2020-03-25T14:17:59","modified_gmt":"2020-03-25T13:17:59","slug":"mamma-mamma-mamma-mammaaa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/mamma-mamma-mamma-mammaaa\/","title":{"rendered":"”MAMMA! MAMMA! MAMMA! MAMMAAA!!!”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Hans senaste ryck \u00e4r att inte s\u00e4ga n\u00e5t annat \u00e4n ”MAMMA! MAMMA! MAMMA! MAMMAAA!!!” n\u00e4r jag \u00e4r inom synh\u00e5ll. Jag kan sitta mitt emot honom vid bordet, se honom i \u00f6gonen och f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka konversera med honom \u2013 irrelevant. ”MAMMAMAMMAMAMMA!!!!!”, och sen skriker han i falsett s\u00e5 att kristallglasen sjunger i sk\u00e5pen. Och sen skrattar han \u00e5t att jag blir missn\u00f6jd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Det \u00e4r om\u00f6jligt f\u00f6r Bj\u00f6rn och mig att prata med varandra \u00f6ver bordet vid middan. Det spelar inte enorm roll vem av oss som s\u00e4ger ”ja, Simon?”, men om det \u00e4r Bj\u00f6rn s\u00e5 \u00e4r det ta mig tusan b\u00e4st f\u00f6r mig att jag \u00e4r tyst och inte f\u00e5r f\u00f6r mig att tilltala Adrian, eller n\u00e5t annat nonsens som inte har med Simon att g\u00f6ra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Han \u00e4ter g\u00e4rna med handen l\u00e4ngst ut p\u00e5 gaffeln \u2013 varf\u00f6r skulle han acceptera sked? VI anv\u00e4nder ju inte det \u2013 och hoppas p\u00e5 det b\u00e4sta; det verkar vara lite som att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka f\u00e5 tag i flaskpost med en 2-meters-\u00e5ra i massivt furu. Med noll kontroll \u00f6ver verktygets andra \u00e4nda placerar han i samma svep tomats\u00e5s i h\u00e5ret, \u00f6rat, \u00f6gat, n\u00e4san, halsvecket och haklappen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
”MAMMA! MAMMA!” gastar han fr\u00e5n bordets kort\u00e4nda och pekar f\u00f6rn\u00e4rmat p\u00e5 br\u00f6stet d\u00e4r maten till slut landat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
”Ja…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
”MAMMA! MAMMA! MAMMA! MAAAAMMAAAA!!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
”JA, SIMON?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Han ger mig en skitsur bl\u00e4ngande blick, f\u00f6r det har han precis l\u00e4rt sig, och pekar p\u00e5 haklappen som om jag ens p\u00e5 avst\u00e5nd varit inblandat i h\u00e4ndelsef\u00f6rloppet som ledde till detta nederlag. Sedan plockar han upp en bit tomatdr\u00e4nkt fisk p\u00e5 gaffeln, som om han aldrig hade gjort annat, och g\u00f6r en skickligt sn\u00e4rtig r\u00f6relse med handen som n\u00e4stan \u00e4r f\u00f6r snabb f\u00f6r \u00f6gat. Fiskbiten landar spikrakt mot Bj\u00f6rns axel, stannar ett \u00f6gonblick klistrad mot tr\u00f6jan innan den l\u00e5ngsamt tappar taget och faller mot golvet. Simon stirrar f\u00f6rv\u00e5nat p\u00e5 sin gaffel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jag tar tallriken och gaffeln i f\u00f6rebyggande syfte, jag vet att han i storhetsvansinne kommer leka v\u00e4derkvarn h\u00e4rn\u00e4st, och mycket riktigt. Ett kristallskrik och frenetiskt vevande skickar vattenmuggen i v\u00e4ggen. Bj\u00f6rn sk\u00e4ller p\u00e5 honom, han bl\u00e4nger, dreggelspottar p\u00e5 golvet, och s\u00e5 pl\u00f6tsligt \u00e4r det som att ha en s\u00e5n h\u00e4r p\u00e5 h\u00f6gs\u00e4tet:<\/p>\n\n\n\n