Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the facebook-pagelike-widget domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wp-2fa domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/functions.php:6114) in /customers/b/7/3/mammatrams.se/httpd.www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-server.php on line 1893 {"id":3315,"date":"2016-08-08T15:21:32","date_gmt":"2016-08-08T13:21:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/?p=3315"},"modified":"2016-08-08T15:21:32","modified_gmt":"2016-08-08T13:21:32","slug":"forandringen-kom-en-natt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mammatrams.se\/forandringen-kom-en-natt\/","title":{"rendered":"F\u00f6r\u00e4ndringen kom \u00f6ver en natt"},"content":{"rendered":"

Jag ligger p\u00e5 en madrass p\u00e5 golvet i Simons rum. Det \u00e4r m\u00f6rkt, men sommarnattens svaga ljus letar sig in i bakom rullgardinen och jag kan tydligt urskilja spj\u00e4ls\u00e4ngen bredvid mig. Jag ligger p\u00e5 sidan med min son i famnen, han anv\u00e4nder den l\u00f6sa delen av min morgonrock som t\u00e4cke. Vi har legat h\u00e4r i en halvtimme nu. Hans stora bl\u00e5 bambi\u00f6gon ser svarta ut i m\u00f6rkret, de s\u00f6ker oavbrutet min blick och h\u00e5ller den stadigt. Hans lilla hand sm\u00e5pillar och k\u00e4nner p\u00e5 mig, p\u00e5 min arm eller p\u00e5 halsen. Lugnt och stilla, som f\u00f6r att f\u00f6rs\u00e4kra sig om att jag verkligen \u00e4r h\u00e4r. D\u00e5 och d\u00e5 blundar jag f\u00f6r att locka honom att g\u00f6ra detsamma, men han \u00e4r obeveklig.<\/p>\n

Jag t\u00e4nker att om det \u00e4r s\u00e5h\u00e4r det ska vara om n\u00e4tterna nu, s\u00e5 \u00e4r jag helt ok med det. Jag \u00e4r s\u00e5 tr\u00f6tt, jag orkar inte sitta p\u00e5 pilatesbollen mer och bebisen i magen har \u00e4ntligen slutat sparkas, men min son i famnen som s\u00e5 tydligt vill ha mig n\u00e4ra f\u00e5r allt det d\u00e4r andra att blekna. Jag kan ligga vaken s\u00e5h\u00e4r resten av mitt liv, \u00e4lskade barn, om du beh\u00f6ver det.<\/p>\n

Stunden varar f\u00f6rst\u00e5s inte f\u00f6r evigt. Snart b\u00f6rjar han \u00e5la sig loss och vill s\u00e4tta sig upp och ber\u00e4tta saker f\u00f6r mig, och det \u00e4r klart att han vill det. Det \u00e4r Simon, han har mycket att dela med sig av.<\/p>\n

S\u00e5h\u00e4r har det varit i 2 veckor nu. F\u00f6r\u00e4ndringen kom, bokstavligen, utan den minsta \u00f6verdrift, \u00f6ver en natt. Pl\u00f6tsligt b\u00f6rjade han vakna runt kl 02 och ha sv\u00e5rt att somna om, han \u00e4r sv\u00e5rs\u00f6vd om kv\u00e4llarna och s\u00f6ker mer n\u00e4rhet. F\u00f6rr kom han och ville ha en kram, sedan vred han sig loss f\u00f6r att forts\u00e4tta med sitt. Nu sitter han kvar i famnen, masserar min \u00f6verarm med sina fingrar samtidigt som han pekar p\u00e5 allt och vill, av allt att d\u00f6ma, att jag ska prata.<\/p>\n

Jag \u00e4r inte orolig, men jag \u00e4r fascinerad. Att en f\u00f6r\u00e4ndring kan komma s\u00e5 whiplash-pl\u00f6tsligt, allts\u00e5. Samma beteende hos en vuxen hade kunnat sp\u00e5ras till en tydlig och antagligen ganska omv\u00e4lvande h\u00e4ndelse, men inte h\u00e4r. Inte vad vi vet, i alla fall.<\/p>\n

Jag tror att det \u00e4r resultatet av en rad anledningar. Jag tror att han g\u00e5r igenom n\u00e5n slags fas, kanske \u00e4r det snart tandsprickning igen, kanske har han v\u00e4xt extremt mycket p\u00e5 kort tid som alla verkar tycka, kanske har hans f\u00f6rm\u00e5ga att uppfatta saker \u00e5terigen f\u00f6r\u00e4ndrats. Han dr\u00f6mmer ju livligare.<\/p>\n

I slutet av augusti \u00e4r det inskolning p\u00e5 f\u00f6rskolan, sedan b\u00f6rjar Bj\u00f6rn p\u00e5 sitt nya jobb. Jag tror framf\u00f6r allt\u00a0att eftersom s\u00e5h\u00e4r sm\u00e5 barn i s\u00e5 h\u00f6g grad styrs av instinkt, s\u00e5 k\u00e4nner Simon av den stundande f\u00f6r\u00e4ndringen. Bj\u00f6rn b\u00f6rjar som sagt p\u00e5 nytt jobb, han har b\u00f6rjat l\u00e4sa p\u00e5 och t\u00e4nka l\u00e4ngre fram\u00e5t igen. Simon tillbringar det mesta av sin vakna tid med honom, och k\u00e4nner s\u00e4kert av sin pappas f\u00f6r\u00e4ndrade fokus.<\/p>\n

Sedan ska vi inte gl\u00f6mma att saker och ting kommer att f\u00f6r\u00e4ndras radikalt i och med lillebrors ankomst i oktober. Kanske bidrar jag ocks\u00e5 till oron genom att t\u00e4nka mer och mer p\u00e5 f\u00f6rlossningen. Hade det inte varit f\u00f6r p\u00e5tagliga (sm\u00e4rtfria) sammandragningar kv\u00e4lls- och nattetid s\u00e5 hade jag nog inte funderat s\u00e5 mycket p\u00e5 det nu heller, men du vet, de \u00e4r sv\u00e5ra att inte m\u00e4rka. Lite som att inte fundera s\u00e5 mycket p\u00e5 att n\u00e5n st\u00e5r och petar en i kinden om och om igen. Till slut m\u00e5ste det ju uppm\u00e4rksammas.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Simon kommer landa i det h\u00e4r ocks\u00e5. De h\u00e4r\u00a0p\u00e5hitten kl 02 intr\u00e4ffar inte varje natt, och vissa kv\u00e4llar testgrinar han bara i 10 minuter innan han ger sig och somnar… men mer om det en annan g\u00e5ng.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jag ligger p\u00e5 en madrass p\u00e5 golvet i Simons rum. Det \u00e4r m\u00f6rkt, men sommarnattens svaga ljus letar sig in i bakom rullgardinen och jag kan tydligt urskilja spj\u00e4ls\u00e4ngen bredvid mig. Jag ligger p\u00e5 sidan med min son i famnen, han anv\u00e4nder den l\u00f6sa delen av min morgonrock som t\u00e4cke. 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